Lockdown Trivia 3 - ‘Hyde and Seek.... On The Road with the Steelmen'

 

‘Hyde and Seek. On The Road…with the Steelmen

Another tale from the Steelman Programme archive. This time a trip to Hyde for a Blue Square North match on September 11th 2010. 

What a great league this was, I loved the Blue Square North, but I probably enjoyed it more than most with having my daughter Carly living more or less slap bang in the middle of Liverpool and Manchester. Two minutes off the M6 and M62 in a village called Winwick, a place of well renown for once being the site of one of Britain’s top lunatic asylums. Hyde itself has a somewhat lamentable history with its connections to the notorious child killers Ian Brady and Myra Hindley in the 1960s and more recently the infamous Dr. Harold Shipman. A real Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde character Harold was. This has nothing to do with football of course but another interesting piece of useless information is that Hyde United are in the record books for suffering the worst ever defeat in the F.A.Cup, having succumbed to the great Preston North End team, the Old Invincibles and Lillywhites, what a nickname that was, 26-0. 15th October 1887 was the date of the massacre. Still, something to be proud of I reckon.

Moving on 123 years, the Steelmen were hoping for at least, a modest victory if not a massacre of the Cheshire men, The Tigers. Which leads me to an obvious pun, predictable I know, that the Tigers must have been pretty toothless when they played Preston at Deepdale that infamous afternoon. Alright, move on.

What follows is the piece, report, call it what you want, I wrote for the Corby programme, ten years ago. With a few amendments.

‘Hyde and Seek. On The Road...with Clive Smith’

‘It was last season I made my bow at Hyde, deep in the suburbs of Manchester, having travelled up north on the Friday before the game, taking advantage of my daughter Carly's location in Winwick near Warrington - ideal for Corby games up North! A rail ticket purchased with my new senior citizen rail card for around £6 was a perfect start to the day. However as it is with British Rail, the train from Warrington Central to Manchester Piccadilly resembled an Indian Calcutta commuter express. Jam packed, a spot standing in the crowded doorway at the end of the carriage had to suffice. I found myself surrounded by braggart and obstreperous Manchester City fans on their way to see their team "stuff" their opponents, Blackburn Rovers. I suffered in silence as more and more of these such morons embarked at every station, conveying an arrogance only those who's club has been transformed overnight from 'run of the mill' to world beaters can. Unbearable. ‘Why do they have to speak so loud?’ ‘Who do they think they impress?’ were thoughts running through my mind as I felt like punching the lights out of them. Finally we pulled into Piccadilly and we all went our separate ways. I changed here for the connecting train to Hyde, a couple of stops away, twenty minutes or so. This is all timed to achieve the purpose of arriving at the Hyde ground around the same time as the Corby supporters who travelled up by bus. It's a bit weird switching from an overcrowded train of bandwagon Manchester City supporters to an empty train heading for a destination where very few care about their local football team. This is the world of Non League football. 

Home of Hyde United

Hyde Station is bereft of life. No ticket collector, no cafe, nobody around. A proper old branch line. Hyde’s ground is situated fairly close by, a twenty minute walk down a main road, up a couple of back streets and there it is. Hyde F.C. Founded in 1885. ‘Were the locals more interested in their team back then’ I pondered? Did people in those long ago days have a predilection to follow their lofty neighbours, the Manchester clubs? One surprise about the ground was to discover that Manchester City had in fact come to Hyde's aid by playing all their reserve fixtures there. Extra revenue, obviously a bonus and surely some people would be interested enough to go along and watch some 'promising' juniors or the occasional first team player on a comeback trail after injury. You would think. But knowing the mindset of so-called 'Big team supporters' dwelling in these outposts, I doubt it. Hyde's ground boasts a stand, rather peculiar shaped one it has to be said, with two prominent structures protruding from the roof, like two funnels of an old cruise liner, each with the club's and their squatters logo. Nice touch. 

Brian and John agree - its an away banker!

Roly looking smug. 'Be a piece of piss today'

In the clubhouse it's nice to see familiar faces. Brian Dighton, Roly Davies, Martin Brothwell, John Crawley amongst them. General consensus was that the Steelmen with the best away form of any club in the league over the two previous two seasons were expected to win today. Hyde struggling near the foot of the table suggested an away victory. 'But you can't take anything for granted'. Confidence is omnipresent as we sup our pints of Tetley's Bitter. 

With hindsight, ninety minutes later, maybe the team was too over confident! Not that manager Graham Drury would allow any such thoughts. What unfolded left Graham and his staff as bemused as the fans. Chris MacKensie in goals, the ever reliable Chris, had a mare! Straying off his line on more than one occasion he was eventually caught out when he made a pig's ear of tackling a Hyde player very nearly on the half way line! The Hyde fans couldn't believe their luck. An open goal and their forwards made no mistake. 

JC wondering wtf is going on!

From then on it was all a desperate struggle. Another weak goal was conceded, Chris misjudging a high cross. One of those days! Taking a different vantage point in the stand by the half way line for the second half, it didn't look any better. Our presence (Crawley and I were late leaving the bar!), was given away when we objected rather loudly to a diabolical referee decision against Steve Towers. All eyes turned towards us. A few glares. No threat. Good banter. Apart from one noisy little squirt who was determined to batter our eardrums and all around as well, with a quick fire lesson of the ABC of Obscene Language. His intention, doubtless to intimidate us, failed. No saint myself but having to put up with this non stop vitriol spewing from his mouth; well you can only listen to so much! With just a hint of jest I told him to calm down. Told him he'd have a heart attack! Don't be a tool! A few more glares were cast our way but I did sense a degree of embarrassment from his fellow Hyde companions. Though one look at the dastardly figure of Crawley, well imbibed, was enough to make any of them have second thoughts of taking on their interlopers, their unexpected guests. They were happy enough anyway. Corby were crap and deserved to get beat 2-1. Hyde had more go about them on the day.

'Bugger all to smile about Graham', Martin tells Drury, 'We were shite today!'

A quick jar and post match analysis and I left to make my way back to the station. Again, not a soul around. Except for one old boy on the opposite platform looking as forlorn as the surroundings. Thoughts of following Liverpool many years ago, being chased and threatened in every bloody station in the country entered my head. Memories. Where was everybody? The place was desolate. This is the kind of station which inspired Paul Simon to write his classic ‘Homeward Bound’ in the 1960s. 

'I'm sitting on a railway station, got a ticket for my destination...' 

I could imagine Paul sitting here jotting down those lines. And in fact it wasn't far from here that he did write those lines. Widnes. Just by where my daughter lives! Apparently there's a plaque on the platform to commemorate the fact. Have to check it out I think.

Back at Piccadilly for the connecting train to Warrington, with its returning Man City fans surprisingly subdued, they were held to a draw! Great stuff I think to myself. Arrogant prats. My train of thought is interrupted; pardon the pun, by an announcement that the 18.27 to Liverpool calling at Warrington is delayed by half an hour. Brilliant! Thirty minutes later, the platform is looking more like an airport lounge there are so many disgruntled people hanging around. Another announcement. The Warrington train is cancelled! Only British Rail! I'm only going about twenty miles down the track. I could walk the bloody thing I think to myself.  My mobile rings. It's my daughter. 'Where are you?' 'Brilliant!' she exclaims. We are supposed to be going out for a meal at eight. The rail officials are being overwhelmed by angry travellers. ‘What's happened to the bloody train?’ ‘What are you going to do about it!’ Eventually a replacement is found, and we are on our way again, only an hour late but we’re on the move. 

Was I going to enjoy a pint!’ 

Corby Team; MacKensie; Pitham Hope Gulliver Charlton; Lavery Andy Hall, Towers Webster; Mackey Walker subs Jarman Kirk Diggin.  Mackey scored Corby’s goal from the penalty spot.

                                                                                    *

It was interesting afterwards to read a different view of the game as reported by the Manchester Evening News, highlighting a couple of facts we didn’t know before the game. Which made the result even more of a disappointment.

'Hyde gained their first win of the season thanks to a late winner from debutant substitute Dale Johnson. With his first touch, he picked up the ball just outside the area and beat three men before firing the ball past a despairing Chris Mackenzie.It was a great return to Hyde for Johnson and hopefully will provide the impetus for the Tigers upfront over the coming weeks.

Shaun Whalley had opening the scoring for the Tigers on eight minutes when he scored a great opportunist goal from wide on the right as he caught Mackenzie napping. Hyde could have increased their lead on 23 minutes when a long kick downfield from keeper Russell Saunders bounced over his counterpart, but was scrambled away by Asa Charlton before Carlos Logan could take advantage.

Corby received a lifeline right on half time when Chris Lynch was adjudged to have fouled Ben Mackey in the area. Mackey himself took the penalty and was relieved to see the ball roll over the line as Saunders just failed to keep it out. It was harsh on the keeper, making his home debut following the departure of Craig Mawson.

After the break Hyde relied on the pace of Logan and Whalley to keep the visitors under pressure. Both went close before Logan brought another good save from Mackenzie. Mackey had a late chance for Corby but this was very much Hyde’s day and lots of positives to build on.

The only sad note for Hyde was that Tom Manship limped off after 28 minutes on this return. However it was due to a knock on his knee rather than a recurrence of his Achilles injury, so hopefully he will not be out for too long.

Attendance: 268

Funny how people have a different view of games. No mention of MacKensie’s howler on the half way line but then again if it‘d been the home goalkeeper…didn’t matter probably, considering their form of late, going by the report, a goal was a goal however much help they needed!

Side note;

Manchester City F.C. Reserves and Academy used the facility as their permanent home until 2015, when a purpose-built academy stadium was opened on the campus at the Etihad Stadium.

Lockdown Trivia -Dim Day Out At Milton Road

Milton Road

Re-visiting a Corby programme from the 90’s and recalling a day out at Cambridge City in 1986. The 86/87 season was the club’s second at the Rockingham Triangle arena and the first under the stewardship of ex Mansfield, Peterborough defender and former Kings Lynn manager, Colin Foster. This was also the season when former Scotland and Nottingham Forest European Cup winner John Robertson graced us 
with his presence for a few months. Goalkeeper Tim Garner also joined us from Kidderminster and

Colin Foster

became a huge favourite with the BOTS. Indeed, many thought he should have been selected for the England team this season. ‘Fozzie’ also dragged a few of his pals along from Lynn to make a contribution. Steve Hines, Martin Twigger and Tim Gale. Later on Clive Adams would also make the switch and looked a fine acquisition, when he was fit. Disappointingly he was crocked most of the short time he was here. The side was also boosted when Foster signed the experienced Pat Rayment from Cambridge United and Paul Curtis from the Cobblers. Pat would eventually be able to look back on his Steelmen career and claim to be the club record holder for the number of red cards received. Can’t remember how many to be honest, lost track! Fine player he was though. Wholehearted, fiery. Big favourite when he remained on the pitch. Paul Curtis added a lot of class to the side, silky smooth player, tenacious in the tackle, cool under pressure. He was also better known by the nickname bestowed on him by the BOTS - Saddam - for his uncanny likeness to Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. For all this, results were pish. 13 games had yielded just 11 points out of a possible 39 when we had a visit to Cambridge City coming up. It would soon be 11 from 14 games! This was the game I recalled in the programme when City visited the Triangle in 1994. 

                                             A Dim Day Out At Milton Road 

 ‘A day watching the Steelmen at Cambridge City back on November 29th 1986 can only be described at best, as extraordinary. A car load of us made the short trip to see Corby, then under the command of Colin Foster, hoping at least to see a fair effort from our boys in the quest of some much needed points. Lingering at third bottom of the table, there hadn’t been much to shout home about of late. Still, optimism is a fair trait of a Steelmen supporter and this day would be no different. Arriving in Cambridgeshire, slightly ahead of schedule, pre match refreshment was sought and a search for the club bar ensued. It being a cold, damp day, the cosiness of the lounge welcomed us, deserted as it was, except for a lone barman going about his business, drying glasses. An enthusiastic ‘four pints of bitter please’ was greeted with a stony silence before the barman downed his towel and left the bar without a word. ‘What’d I say?’ I asked my companions. Four or five minutes later, the barman returned, took up position and said ‘four pints of bitter’. And a good day to you and all I thought. A few pints later, we left the bar and found that if we thought the welcome there was a wee bit off, the rest of the afternoon didn’t promise much better. Fog had descended to dampen the spirits a little, but we remained optimistic. Colin Foster had sprung a surprise with his team selection by making a few changes and reshaping the back four. A couple of new faces were on show as well in the shape of midfielder Ray Birch from Rushden and centre half John Flower, a big raw boned fellow from the reserve team. However, the new look defence of Elwyn Roberts at right back, Foster and Flower in the middle and Alan McIllwain at left back soon looked totally inadequate as Cambridge raced into a three goal lead before half time, Roberts having possibly his worst game ever in a Corby shirt. Foster looked pathetically unfit, Flower looked as rough as as you could look whilst McIllwain looked every inch a man playing out of position. “There’s a long way to go’ we decided as we headed for some half time tea, and oh yes, the chips did smell nice. Just what we needed to warm ourselves up. “Pie and chips’ I ventured to the lady in the hut. With that, she looked at her partner and said ‘what did e’ say?’ 'Christ I don’t sound that bad, do I?' I asked my pals now curling up with laughter. The usual suspects, Yozzer Hughes and his brother Barry. This is some day this is turning out to be, I thought. Anyway, Colin Foster obviously realised there was something wrong with his tactics during the intermission and he switched things around for the second half. Suddenly, Corby found themselves back in the game as first, Steve Hines was fouled in the area and Birch scored from the penalty spot. Roberts then blazed way over the bar from a matter of feet and then David Hofbauer reduced the deficit a little further a couple of minutes after that. Only 3-2 now and the travelling fans were getting ecstatic. ‘Take the piss Corby!’ the familiar war cry came out. On reflection it was perhaps that which stirred City back into action again, as three goals in as many minutes put to rest that idea. It was maybe as well we couldn’t see a lot of what was going on with the fog getting thicker by the minute. We did however see the final goal as in the last minute, Martin Twigger appeared out of the mist and planted the ball past the City keeper to make it 6-3. If nothing else, nine goals was value for money, even if we didn’t see half of them. 

Martin Twigger waiting for a cross to twitch the ball into the net with his head.

We headed for the bar again, only to find that this time, admission was not being granted for reasons unknown, and then a friendly debate began between ourselves and some gathering City supporters. One chap, obviously oblivious to the benefit of shampoo and changing you razor blades now and again joined in the conversation. With the white stuff covering his shoulders I tried a bit of humour at the fellow’s expense by asking him if it was snowing outside. He turned to me, with bike clips still round his ankles which looked a little amusing and replied, ‘no, but it is in Cardiff!’ Everybody fell around laughing as I tried to work out the significance of that one and gave up. With that, all was lost and it was a bemused bunch of Steelmen fans that trudged off home. Altogether, a strange day. Corby’s team that was battered was Tim Garner, Roberts, McIIlain, Paul Curtis, Flower, Foster, Tim Gale, Birch, Twigger, Hofbauer and Hines. Pat O’Keefe was the unused sub.’ 

 Looking back from a distance, this was quite an amazing game, had to be with nine goals I guess but it was one of those typical miserable damp November days. A real pea-souper. Sort of days I remember often at Occupation Road when the the ground was covered in smog. A mixture of mist and the crap from the steelworks polluting the air. The character in the bar afterwards too I remember. Though I’m not sure who was taking the piss the most here! His reply about ‘snowing in Cardiff’ threw me I have to admit! Good laugh all the same and that was and is, what following football, at this level in particular, is all about. My companions on the day, Yozzer Hughes and his brother Barry, ‘Baz’, and also Martin Donnelly and his pal, big feller can’t recall his name now, were there and were always great company and ready for a crack. Thinking of the barman before the game, when he disappeared when we had asked him for four pints, and he left us standing there looking like plums, recalls a similar scenario at Rushden’s Hayden Road ground following a Senior Cup match in the early 80’s. Quick pint or two was called for afterwards in the bar to celebrate our 2-1 victory. Packed with the smiling faces of Steelmen supporters, I asked the barmaid for five pints and Barry, sizing up the situation, immediately told her to serve up five more! She looked horrified and in disbelief. ‘Are you taking the piss?” she growled, looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp! Happy days!

John Robertson with European Cup.

'Saddam'. Paul Curtis.

Lockdown Trivia - October 1980

 

The 1980/81 side included stars Trevor Morley and Derek Walker

A Dive Into the Archive   

Thanks to the corona virus and the libraries being amongst a plethora of institutions indefinitely closed, the series I began 18 months or so back, on my Anfieldiron Blog, memories of every season I’ve bore witness to since I started following the Steelmen as a boy in 1958, meant due to the unavailability for research, the series ground to a halt. However, another idea came to me to help pass the time during this continuing pandemic, one based on and similar to articles I used to write occasionally for the Corby programme back down the decades. At one time they were called ‘A Dive Into the Archive’, other times it was ’40 years ago today..’ ’30 years..’ 

Anyway, we begin by going back to October 25th 1980 which I can’t believe is 40 years ago. How many times do we say this the older we get! This particular day the Steelmen were away to Bromsgrove Rovers in a Southern League Midland Division clash.

But before this….

1980 wasn’t a great year. The town was drowning in a sea of anguish and gloom. A national steel strike and the closure of the steelworks in April had resulted in thousands being made redundant. Despair hung over the town like a shadow on the lung. 

It goes without saying that at times like these football and entertainment often provide a means of escape, if only briefly, for those feeling as if they've been thrown on the scrapheap.

The demolition of the steelworks

Unfortunately in 1980 the football fans of Corby Town, those whom were still hanging in there, were also in despair. The end of the 1970s had been one of abject decline in the fortunes of the club. Finishing rock bottom of the league in the previous two campaigns, accumulating just 35points out of a possible 160 told its own story. Attendances dropping to double figures, the Occupation Road ground rapidly becoming derelict and unloved, the terraces overgrown, the stands in a state of collapse. Interest had all but disappeared. Entertainment value watching the Steelmen was zero. Light relief certainly wasn’t to be found at Occupation Road that was for sure.

Entrance to the Theatre of Dreams

A proposed new stadium that had been designed and even published in the local press had also sunk without trace. The club was on the verge of oblivion, and it seemed, no one cared. After all, with thousands being made redundant in the town there were far more things to worry about than the fortunes of the local football club. This no doubt was the reason why, in February, the directors threw in the towel and tendered the club’s resignation from the Southern league. 

At the time I was into my third year working for the Royal Mail, and amongst other things, discussing football and the plight of the Steelmen with fellow posties Cliff ‘Yozzer’ Hughes and Dick Dighton who was passing his spare time keeping goal for minor teams like Rushden and the Diamonds. Dick had been a member of the Southern League Championship winning Kettering Town team in 1973. Injuries had blighted his career and he had latterly been keeping his hand in and getting a few extra bucks for his trouble, turning out for village side Cottingham. Thanks to Yozzer and myself, he would step back up to where he belonged and be keeping goal for the Steelmen 12 months down the line…but that’s another story and for another time.

It was Yozzer, who it turns out, had been a Corby supporter for nearly as long as myself, going back to the early 60s, who happened to mention about some rumblings going on concerning the Steelmen during that summer of 1980. A new board of directors had assumed control, backed by the Hamblin Group who were behind the success of many of the county’s bingo halls and night clubs, including the Stardust Centre in the town’s George Street. The venue was the hub of entertainment in Corby throughout the 70s, attracting star names like P.J.Proby, Del Shannon, The Searchers, Billy J.Kramer, Alias Smith and Jones, Knobbs. And a game of Bingo.

Knobbs, with director Mick York on drums

Anyhow, out of the blue it was announced in the press that Corby Town had successfully re-applied for membership to the Southern League and the directors, Arthur Pitcher, Mick York, Tom Haworth and co had appointed as player manager, Gordon Livsey, a goalkeeper of renown who had league experience with Chester, Wrexham, Hartlepools and also Kettering Town, Nuneaton Borough and Weymouth. Bit of a surprise it was, as was the signing of another experienced league player, midfielder Tony Moore from Chesterfield and his friend John Tandy from Northern Premier League side Worksop. 

Talking about this, a pre season friendly against Alliance Premier League A.P Leamington was coming up, and it spiked our interest enough to go and pay a visit. The Alliance had been inaugurated this year, as the tip of the non league pyramid. All the top non league sides in the country in the one division. 

Leamington was obviously going to be a test for the new look Steelmen. Well, to be honest, it was all new to me and Yozzer too. They did, apparently, have a number of ‘promising’ local youngsters and a couple of former Derby and Nottingham Forest youth players in the team, plus the ‘old heads’ of Livsey, Moore and Tandy to help them along.  

It did create a buzz and much to our surprise, a decent crowd turned up to find out, like ourselves, what was going on at Occupation Road. A great night it turned out to be. The young Steelmen overturning the illustrious visitors 1-0 and impressing everyone who was there. 

For all the promise and enthusiasm garnered against Leamington the season got off to the worst possible start with two 1-0 defeats against Minehead away and Kidderminster at home. Sandwiched in between however were two victories over the highly regarded Aylesbury in the Southern League Cup which was enough to retain the optimism.

Trevor Morley, who came from Derby County youths and went on to have a great and successful career with Northampton, West Ham and Manchester City was undoubtedly the star, along with local lad Derek Walker. Both would be snapped up by Nuneaton, one of the top non league teams at the time managed by Graham Carr in the New Year, which was hugely disappointing for Steelmen fans. 

Morley and Walker lit up many a game with exhilarating displays down the flanks, one goal in particular embedded in the memory of all who were there came against Finchley in the F.A Trophy at Occy Road. Exchanging passes down the wing all the way from their own half, tearing the Finchley defence apart before Derek sent a cross over that Morley powered into the back of the net with his head. The place went nuts! We were scoring goals for fun by now which wasn’t going unnoticed. Attendances were creeping up every home game and it was catching the notice of the town, including my mate Pat McMahon who reveals his first Corby game was the week before the Bromsgrove game. A 4-0 hiding of British Timken in the Senior Cup. It was the start of his devotion to the Steelmen which would over time see him become a peripheral and often influential figure behind the scenes as the years rolled by. Pat was though, and some may say, still is, a moaning ‘get’ which was a trait that originally endeared him to all of the infamous BOTS, the ‘Back Of the Standers’ at the Rockingham Triangle ground later on and would secure his membership to the equally infamous Grumpys.

A leading critic over the years, Pat McMahon

Back to what I was talking about originally though, the Bromsgrove game. Finishing our mail delivery rounds on the Saturday morning, I went along with Yozzer, and his brother Barry, down to the Occupation Road ground to see if we could hitch a lift on the team bus. I can still remember manager Matt McIllwain’s face when he saw us standing there and we asked him. He looked as if we’d asked him for a fiver! Disbelief. It was probably the first time for a few years that the team had any supporters travelling with them! “Sure boys” Matt said, with a look of bemusement. “Get on”. Have to add, even the players looked slightly bemused!

The days when the Steelmen used to run 'football specials'

Arriving at Bromsgrove’s ground we were hesitant as what to do or where to go until Matt told us, “Grab hold of a bag fellers and follow the rest of us into the changing rooms. Anybody asks anything, tell them you’re injured!” We started laughing. Barry looked more like a rugby player, a prop forward at that, than a footballer! Still, we walked past a couple of Bromsgrove officials who looked a bit dubious at the three of us, as we put on a limp for good measure, and we were in.

Joining in with some camaraderie for a bit of affect, we left the dressing rooms and made our way to the club bar in the ground for a couple of pints ahead of the game. 

We weren’t too optimistic about our chances, Rovers were one of the better teams in the league, and I can’t remember now exactly how the first half went, except that we were one up at half time, thanks to a Derek Walker goal. We were well chuffed as we made our way back to the bar for more refreshment during the interval. Bromsgrove were one of the favourites for promotion this year so as far as we were concerned, this was going better than expected. Then an announcement over the Tannoy as the teams came out for the second half lifted our spirits even further. The Bromsgrove goalkeeper was injured and the centre half (as we still called them those days) was replacing him in between the sticks. We were delighted with this naturally, and expecting an avalanche of goals, we made our way to behind the Bromsgrove goal to give their stand in goalkeeper as much stick as we could muster. All good humoured of course. ’Tosser!’ ‘Hopeless’ etc

Encouraged by this turn of events, the Steelmen duly bombarded the Bromsgrove goal, to little effect! Chances were being put on a plate but unfortunately they were usually being served up to our centre forward, a genial chap we called ‘Big’ Mee. Paul Mee was an honest player, let’s say. He did his best, as he always did, but…holy shit, I could have scored a hat full that day!

Cheered on by Yozzer, Baz and myself, our boys poured forward towards us, standing alone by the fence in front of the stand. Time and again the ball sailed over our heads! Best chance of all came when ‘Big’ Mee was clear with only the stand-in keeper to beat. A guy who looked like a fish out of water. Surely we must score this time we thought. No. Big Paul scuffed his shot after the keeper had left a wide open goal for him after coming out to the edge of the area and found himself stranded. Once more the ball went flying over our heads, to a howl of groans. ‘F—-k me!’ ‘You couldn’t score in a brothel!’ ‘If you fell in a barrel of tits, you’d come out sucking your thumb!’

Exasperated, it was I who retrieved the ball, and with Paul looking on, with a hint of embarrassment, I threw the ball at the back of the net and shouted to him, “there’s the f—-ing goals!!” Even the goalie laughed!

The whistle went soon afterwards however and despite everything, we had won 1-0! Brilliant. Back in the bar, Yozzer, Baz and I sat, all smiles, with a pint, waiting for the boys to come in and to celebrate the victory. Spying us, looking liking a bunch of numptys I guess, as they entered, Big Mee came over. Apologetically, he stammered, “bit disappointing that was lads, wasn’t it…’. Blimey, I suddenly felt sorry for him. The three of us cracked up, “don’t worry about it Paul…” Yozzer placated him, laughing, “we still won!” Paul did try to smile. Anyhow, what the hell, despite the numerous chances that were missed, we’d still pulled off a surprising away victory! Magic! lol Good day it was!

The team which was more or less the same every week throughout the first half of that season was Gordon Livsey; David Gill, Tony Ferns; Tony Moore, David ‘Dodge’ Rodger, Alan McIllwain; Jimmy Rogers, John Tandy, Paul Mee, Trevor  Morley and Derek Walker. 

‘Big Mee’ did get his scoring boots on the following week, helping the Steelmen to a 1-1 draw at Bridgend. His final goal for the Steelmen before he was released and replaced by goalscoring machine Brian Beresford from Worcester City. For a reported fee of a £1000 no less! Strange days.